Tuesday, March 26, 2019
Still can’t believe it
More than a day and I still can’t believe I heard my oncologist say I beat it. I’m cancer free. Almost 10 years and it’s unbelievable. I don’t know if anyone who hasn’t faced this understands it, but I beat cancer. I won. And it’s amazing
Monday, March 25, 2019
Cancer free
Today was my (rescheduled) appointment with my oncologist.
A week and a half ago I had two missed calls from my doctor on a SUNDAY. As I had just had bloodwork and an X-ray done I was convinced I was dying, so I logged in to the insurance website which shows lab results (what I was going to do if something looked wrong, I don’t know) but I wanted to prepare myself. Everything seemed ok, except for one of the liver levels which was .1% higher than normal, so off to google I went (not always the best idea) but saw that higher levels on that one thing probably just meant dehydration or something not too serious, lower would be worse than high. I didn’t think it could have been that bad, yet still wondered why they called me on Sunday. After the third missed call the next day, found out they just needed to reschedule. I really wish they had left a voicemail with that info. It would have saved me some worry and panic.
On to today:
"10 years. Labs are good. I think we can say you are cured"!!!!! I could have hugged him, or even kissed him. I feel lighter. I didn’t even realize how heavy my shoulders were, but they really do feel lighter.
That said, I know that it could still come back. Ten years from now it could show up on my brain or elsewhere in my body. Even when the doctor said I didn’t have to come back unless I saw a mole or lump, there was a part of me that thought what if it’s in my liver or brain? Can I still get the blood tests? I have melanoma friends who have doctors who refused to say cured, and there is a part of me that has a hard time accepting that word (probably since I had done so much research during the past 10 years) BUT today I am taking the CURED word and loving it.
A week and a half ago I had two missed calls from my doctor on a SUNDAY. As I had just had bloodwork and an X-ray done I was convinced I was dying, so I logged in to the insurance website which shows lab results (what I was going to do if something looked wrong, I don’t know) but I wanted to prepare myself. Everything seemed ok, except for one of the liver levels which was .1% higher than normal, so off to google I went (not always the best idea) but saw that higher levels on that one thing probably just meant dehydration or something not too serious, lower would be worse than high. I didn’t think it could have been that bad, yet still wondered why they called me on Sunday. After the third missed call the next day, found out they just needed to reschedule. I really wish they had left a voicemail with that info. It would have saved me some worry and panic.
On to today:
"10 years. Labs are good. I think we can say you are cured"!!!!! I could have hugged him, or even kissed him. I feel lighter. I didn’t even realize how heavy my shoulders were, but they really do feel lighter.
That said, I know that it could still come back. Ten years from now it could show up on my brain or elsewhere in my body. Even when the doctor said I didn’t have to come back unless I saw a mole or lump, there was a part of me that thought what if it’s in my liver or brain? Can I still get the blood tests? I have melanoma friends who have doctors who refused to say cured, and there is a part of me that has a hard time accepting that word (probably since I had done so much research during the past 10 years) BUT today I am taking the CURED word and loving it.
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