Google Search

I was doing a Google search for my name, just to see what I found when I can across Williamsport Must Stop Sewage Overflows to Susquehanna River with a mention of my name. I was curious so i clicked on it and found one of my pictures (with a link to my Flickr account). I didn't even know that they had used it. Maybe I should be more upset that I wasn't asked, but as far as I'm concerned, as long as I get credit for the photo, I don't really care. It would have been nice to be asked before hand, or even told after the fact, but I'm going to go on the theory that any exposure is good exposure.

Life/ Depression

I woke up this morning depressed- hating my life, hating my job.  I just felt so rotten. It seems like I spend my life going to work, coming home to the tv and internet, sometimes going to the store, going to bed and then waking up and doing it all over again.  I'm 26. Aren't I supposed to be going out on the town enjoying life? Aren't these supposed to be the best years of my life? If so, what is my life going to be like at 46?

Maybe I would feel better if I didn't still work at McDonald's. This was supposed to be temporary. 4 years later, I'm still here.How does a reasonably intelligent college grad get stuck in a dead-end job at McDonald's? And why did it have to happen to me?! It's not that it is so bad act McD's, most of the customers are usually nice, and I get along with my coworkers (most of the time); this is not what I want to do with my life. I don't want to be a McDonald's Lifer.  There's a part of me that wishes I could just walk out and quit, but I need the lousy health insurance--the reason i took the job in the first place.

Health insurance is my line in the sand.  If a job posting doesn't say that there is health insurance, I don't even bother aplying. There's no point.  Because of pre-exsisting health conditions I cannot get private health insurance so I have to have a group health insurance plan. It's my only option until 2014 when it will be illegal for insurance companies to deny coverage to people like me.  That's as long as the Republicans don't manage to veto the law in the meantime.

If you asked me what kind of job I wanted I really couldn't tel you.  Ideally it would be a writing job, but at this point I'd take pretty much anything as long as there was health insurance, vacation time, etc. And being able to sit down and not have to stand for 71/2 hours a day would be nice.  However, after 4 years in customer service I will probably have a better chance at getting a job in that field.  But honestly, I would take any job with better benefits.

I have thought about going back to school, even talked to the people at FORTIS, but unless there is a 100% guarantee that I'll get a better job, why should I tack another $10,000- $20,000 to the loans I still owe for my (useless) bachelor's degree.  It seems pointless.

I have applied to other jobs, but most of the time I find myself pulling ads out of the paper, Setting them aside to apply to later, and then never following through. At times, it just seems hopeless.  I have applied to countless jobs in the last 4 1/2 years and have only heard from a few of them. And those were rejections because I don't have the experience.  How am I supposed to get experience if no one will hire me?! Why won't someone take a chance on me? It seems like I'm doomed to live this crappy life.  Isn't it supposed to get better at some point? Haven't I already dealt with enough over my short life.  Shouldn't things be turning around? Or am I just meant to suffer?...

Quick Update

Just a quick update: I had my 6 month checkup on Monday, and everything looks good.  liver is functioning well, lungs look good and there aren't any new/ changing moles on my back.  So far so good.  Maybe I've kicked it for good, Hopefully...